The Natural Eluder

Standing I was in the middle of the stage where I was being applauded for this particular set of skills that I possess and my mastery over it. Flowers were being thrown at me, my fans were running towards me for my autograph, the paparazzi were clicking my pictures and the media personals were hungry for my interview about these skills of mine. All I said was that I am a born genius who can elude from any situation which is not in my favour and how I do that, is an occult for me.

This is how I feel when I runaway from something that might harm me personally. In the real world I am being castigated for my flawless act of having promised to do something which I just couldn’t live up to, yet again. On the contrary I am praising myself for this feat I achieved of pulling myself out which I thought I might not be able to; What a narcissistic boy I am.

Back home I am being pounded by my parents of how irresponsible I am and the same old lecture begins that despite the potential I have, I waste my productive energy by wasting time and running away from things. Well I just listen, laugh, crack a joke on myself and just move on witnessing the agony on my parents face. Back into my room and I enter the world of contemplation.

Years have gone by, nothing has changed and I am about to finish college and get my graduation degree. Now for me that is success, the idea holding onto my bachelors degree. But around me I see worried faces nagging about what lies for me ahead, how I will get a job and I on the opposite am like, you need to calm down kid or your dreams will be crumbled Darth Vader. Looking at their sorry faces gave me a sense of joy and how happy I was but then, I had this conversation with one of my close friend who is a Jedi Knight.

Frankly speaking he had a perfect idea of how depressed I was with life so for the first time in his life he became master Yoda and started pointing out the mistakes that I pertain and like a dedicated student I was listening to him. And after another attempt to make me understand, he failed miserably as all I had to say was yes I understand and will work upon it and made several promises and what not.

And then he started telling me of how he will go back and work upon to achieve what he is passionate about and this is where the arrow hit the mark. I felt petrified of the fact that why do I never stand up on the promises I make; leave others and I don’t even fulfil the ones I make to myself. This is where I realized that change has to take place and holding the graduation degree is not the ultimate success to be achieved in my life.

So I made another promise to myself that I will become a successful writer ahead in my life as this is what gives me inner satisfaction. But to achieve this I have to get rid of the characteristic flaws that pertain inside me on which I can’t use my particular set of skills that I have utmost mastery in i.e. being a natural eluder. So I make a daily small target that gives me a sense of closure that yes I can complete things and I can live up to others' expectations from me and I can think of myself of being worthy.

They say change is inevitable but I sincerely believe it is your choice completely. I have set my foot on the path that I have laid for myself but it isn’t easy as the natural eluder won’t easily let go of me. So let’s see where I land up in the end, on this path of change that lies ahead of me.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France